Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
