Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
false alarm, still single
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
