It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
being pregnant is like rehab
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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