She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
