Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We are two peas in an std pod
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
