my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
