The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
