Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize