I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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