small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
