if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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