Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
