UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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