Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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