well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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