i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
