where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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