I just made out with a guy for $7.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
