I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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