I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
