that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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