Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
