and next time when you feel me up, do it right
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
True strength comes from lack of pants
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
