Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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