How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
