the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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