It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
