I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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