I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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