I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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