once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
