It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize