Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I think your dad took our porno
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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