yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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