I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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