I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
