Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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