i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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