I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
