For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
