Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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