There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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