Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
