Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
