My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
