Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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