i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
