If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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