it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
