last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
