Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
