So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
