some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
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You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
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But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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