I'm going to jail i love you
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Randomize
