If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
