I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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