Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
