I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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