Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm sobbing to NWA
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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