i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
