wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
