Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize