I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my gift to your gina
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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